[RLM] When We Feel We Exist has many themes and categories throughout, but one overarching theme was acceptance – more specifically accepting the good and bad of the past and the present. Can you tell me about what drew you towards the themes of this book and what inspired you to write this?
It really started the weekend of my 26th birthday. I was in an Airbnb that I had rented for me and some of my friends. We were playing the card game, We’re Not Really Strangers, and one of the cards I pulled called for some really deep introspection. Most of my adult life I felt like I was behind. Like I wasn’t doing enough. Like I wasn’t going hard enough. To me, my life wasn’t making sense and I was struggling to come to terms with that. Struggling with the grief of what I thought would happen, versus the reality I was actually living in. That weekend also helped me realize just how much living I actually put on hold, on a regular basis, in an attempt to work harder. Be more responsible. Play catch up to all of the peers I felt were leaving me behind. It was the wakeup call that life doesn’t just happen on the weekends. There’s so much to experience in the spaces around obligation and duty. That realization, that warm weekend at the end of February in 2025, was the beginning of When We Feel We Exist.
[RLM] This text was so varied and unpredictable, can you describe the process and timeframe from writing these poems up until publishing them? What was the process like for you in deciding which poems to include?
February 2025 was the catalyst for everything, even though I had been writing much earlier than that. As is sometimes the case, I didn’t even necessarily know I was writing a new book at first. I was just getting these waves of ideas and feelings for poems that really resonated with the recent realization and awakening that had not yet been actualized. As I kept writing, I started collecting and organizing. I could start to see some of the threads and bones for a collection really early on. I think that’s one of my creative superpowers personally, having a sense of what things might work well with each other, or work together nicely to create a dialogue. I sent out an early draft to some of my fellow author and poet friends just to kind of see what was resonating, but I was still writing, drafting, and organizing as well. I was picking at old poems that didn’t have any placements and seeing how they responded to the new work I had generated. It was an interesting balance and dance. I don’t think I considered the manuscript finished and ready for edits until late April or early May, which was around the time I reached out to both the lovely editor, Riel, and my amazing cover artist Jocelyn. I was intending for a summer release, but I think when the dust cleared, having a release in the transition from fall to winter might’ve made even more sense than I would’ve imagined.
[RLM] Your poems touch on topics and themes that are pretty universal whilst also feeling very personal to read. Would you be able to share if there was any emotional or personal journey you took whilst writing these poems?
Oh definitely. I’m a big believer that any artist passionate about their work, their craft, imbues some part of themselves in the work. Even if they are not the speaker, narrator, or main character. They are present, and sometimes prevalent, in the work and how it manifests. For me, a lot of that journey was relearning to find the beauty and joy in the simplest of things. Taking time to slow down and be present in my body and my senses. As I’ve said in conversation with folks about the book, I need to ‘slow down and smell the roses’. I did a lot of trying to deconstruct ideas we had been taught, as a society, about always needing to be on go, about always being productive, about saving the fun in our lives for the weekend. But no, I can go outside and roll in the grass right now. Feel the blades between my fingers and toes. Sit under the gaze of the sun. I can get off work and meet my friends for happy hour. Or bingo. Or a night out. I can go to the DJ party and dance and laugh. I can go to the open mic night. I can go catch that play or musical. The weekend doesn’t have to be the only time I live. In fact, it can’t be. Because then, I’m not really living at all.
[RLM] Is there a poem in this collection that you’re particularly fond of, and why?
“Laughter” is definitely one poem that immediately comes to mind. Anyone who knows me well knows that I love to laugh. I love to crack jokes. I love to kiki. It’s a beautiful experience. It’s also a cultural one. It’s a poem that combines so many elements of the things I want to bring to my work – universality, identity, and culture. Like, who doesn’t love laughing? Who doesn’t love the way laughter makes us feel? In many ways if I could be described as an emotion, or experience, I would want to be described as a laugh. And I think, I hope, even the way that I wrote the poem speaks to and resonates with that idea.
[RLM] Because there was such a variety in topics and themes, did you find it difficult to curate a steady, unifying collection for this book? What did you do to keep focused on the end goal, and did the end goal change and develop alongside the development of this book?
Truthfully, I think that unifying vision I had, way back in February was my guiding star. Curation became a challenge towards the end of the process. There were a couple of poems added at the end of the drafting period, right before I sent the manuscript off for editing. At that point, it was really about trying to round out the collection holistically, in a way that made everything feel complete. Not necessarily to wrap up everything nice and neat with a bow, but to bring about a well-rounded, full-bodied collection that had all the levels of depth, nuance, and life that I was looking to put out.
[RLM] Some of your poems, particularly “Lemonade”, “Sex on the beach”, and “Bubbles [mimosa]” add an extra layer of human experience to this collection – touching on the intimacy of flavors and how different flavors and food-experiences interact with our memories and emotions. There are two parts to this question. First, can you tell me more about your favorite drink and meal and why? Second, is there a possibility of another collection being written with a more focused theme on food and drink?
This question is chef’s kiss. I might answer this a little backwards. On the possibility of a collection centered on food and drink… I think anything’s possible. For sure. What’s interesting is most of my collections have a poem that ties together food, drinks, or the kitchen and art of cooking as a whole. The poems in this collection are ones that were written years ago and I didn’t really have anywhere to put them contextually. I think they fit nicely in When We Feel We Exist, though. So I’d definitely be interested and open to exploring more about food and what that uncovers and unlocks. Especially since I fail to see a world in which I don’t write about it in some capacity.
As for my favorite meal and drink, I’m going to cheat a little bit here. I’m a big sucker for pastas. Growing up as a kid some of my favorite meals revolved around mac n cheese, spaghetti, or some italian offering. On the other side of that though, I’d say soul food and creole/cajun cuisine. It’s as much about the food as it is about the memories associated with them, whether it’s jambalaya, etouffee, red beans and rice, or traditional fried chicken and greens. As for drinks – I love apple juice. Honestly I love anything apple flavored. But I also really enjoy lemon drops, sex on the beach, and a good amaretto sour.
[RLM] In your own words and reflecting on your development as an author and a poet, how does this most recent work differ from your previous works? What developments within yourself have reflected in your work overtime, and vice versa
Honestly, I think this collection challenged me in a way of being honest and vulnerable that none of the others have, save maybe Crossroads. That might seem odd to say, especially when thinking about (No) I am (not) okay, and while I do pour so much of myself into every project, When We Feel We Exist is the most transparent and vulnerable I’ve been to date. I think there’s an intimacy to this collection that the others aspire to. Not that I’m being dishonest, but more so that the truth isn’t so heavily veiled in the language. It isn’t so distant in its efforts to be more universal. I think it’s actually more universal because of the fact that it feels so close to me, and in turn, a reality many people can relate with.
[RLM] Are there any projects that you’re currently working on or developing that you’re excited about?
What I can say is yes. There’s not much more I can say beyond that. Lot’s more poems. Like, a lot. Potentially three or more books worth a lot. It was recently announced that I was awarded the Playa Flamingo Writing Residency from Atmosphere Press this year, so I’m looking forward to spending some time on a beach this summer, connecting with nature, and writing. There’s also a novel draft somewhere that I need to revisit. Again, not much I can say right now. What I can say is that with me, there’s always something. A new idea. A collaboration opportunity. Something. It’s definitely a stay tuned situation, for sure.
